Sometimes, I feel very terrible when I think about how we get so used to being someone we are not, just because we've always been that way. We can't deny the influence people around us have on us. We try so hard to be individuals and many succeed in being unique but only a few of us manage to retain that individuality. Others, and I'm no exception, they try to change or restrict themselves to mix well with people around them. In doing so, we do many things that we wouldn't have done otherwise. I, for one, have many things that I try hard not to do when I'm with certain people, for I know they wouldn't like it much. Let me make it more clear by giving an example. Us students, we know how hard it could be to find someone as interested in academics as us. I'm not saying people like that don't exist, its just that the trend goes to hate your studies and love other things like sports or movies. And many people, they try to hide their interests from most if not all, just so they can safely be "one of them". Its the feeling of social acceptance that makes us do that. What many of us fail to realize is that, doing so makes us lose interest in something we would have been really passionate about. Contrast this with how kids are. How they all want to be what they are without caring if people would or would not like them. If you want to learn about individuality, learn it from a kid who would indulge in eating chocolates and ice-creams the moment he sees them. He doesn't care if mommy won't like it or if daddy would want to teach him a thing about table manners. He just loves being what he is and what others think of him doesn't matter to him at all. And then, as he grows up, he's trained to control and many times suppress his desires just so he can be socially acceptable. This is how most of us, if not all, have turned out to be. We crave more for social acceptance than we love being individuals. We let that inner child die. May be not immediately because many of us keep having fantasies about things we love and we want to do something about it but we don't. Eventually, that inner child, who does not get enough attention to survive, dies a slow but certain death.
If only the world was so pathetic and helpless that we couldn't bring him back! I think I need to remind myself (and others) that its never really too late to mend. And here's why I say so. As a kid, I believed everyone of us had an angel (or many) taking care of us, guiding us through tough times and if nothing, just being there with us. Being a grown up now, I don't anymore, for we must be rational, right? And I am a rational man. However, I've realized that we do come across people who seem to help us in ways we never could have expected. Its like making new friends and let me tell you why I think that is so significant. Even if we are very open with people around us, we all still have little feelings that never surface just because no one tries to pry them. But then you meet someone new and your heart opens up to them bringing you closer to them in ways you couldn't have thought of, let alone planned. The moment you realize that the other person is receptive and sensitive enough, your inner artist awakes from his deep sleep. You feel its very hard to change things with your existing relationships because it might get too awkward and at most times you just end accepting things as they are. Finding a new friend in someone is like getting a blank canvas to paint on. You get a chance to overcome your fears, insecurities, inhibitions and forget about the past. You get another chance to write your story in their book, another chance to compose the tune that lets you forget your past and build a new future for yourself. You get a chance to explore yourself better through that person. It just couldn't be any easier to renew your ambitions and pursuits than when you find that someone new. It just takes for you to be open and vulnerable. Being that it won't be hard to notice someone who could be your angel.
